When encountering new people or a new group of people in a social setting the most way you build up a casual relationship is by talking. The more you talk, the more people get to know you and vice-versa. The opposite can also be true. The more you get to know someone, the less you like them. This cant really be avoided and you have to except that not everyone can get along. One of the biggest mistakes people make however is talking about the wrong things. You can sour a friendship easily by bringing up the wrong topic. Sometimes you have no way of knowing and sometimes you do but there are topics that you should try to avoid almost universally.
Politics
Politics is a polarizing issue. With any group of people there will be a wide range of opinions. Even if some supports a certain political party their views on all issues may not be the same. When people have differing views on politics, one person is not necessarily wrong. Opinions can vary based on peoples experiences and feelings. Some have more empathy than other while some think more logically and don't insert emotion.
It's wise to avoid bringing up politics especially if you have strong opinions one way or another. Many times when discussing politics people will stand firm on their opinion simply because they are unwilling to admit that they are "wrong" or concede that something in what they believe may be flawed. This is very common and can lead to two people unwilling to agree on any point which can easily end in a heated argument.
Religion
Religion is another topic that is very polarizing if people don't agree. Any conversation to do with religion almost always will descend into an argument. That's not to say that people should never, ever talk about religion but its a very sensitive topic and feelings can get hurt very easily.
Intelligent discussions on religion can occur if each person stays calm and does not say anything offensive. A common problem that is encountered between two people, one of which is not religious, is the assertion that there is no empirical evidence of a higher power. The counter to this is that people of faith cannot describe what faith is without actually having the other person experience it for themselves.
Arguments between people of different faiths can arise as well but are less common simply because an overriding theme in most major religions is peace and love.
Money
The motto, "Money is the root of all evil." is a common saying but like many it is overused. In reality money can solve many problems in a person's life so in this way its not bad. Money can cause problem as well when it comes between people or friends. Not everyone makes the exact same amount and not everyone is good with their money.
It is generally considered in bad taste to talk about money in a way that can be misconstrued as bragging. This includes: telling someone how much you have in the bank, how much you make at your job or how much disposable income you have every month.
Good taste would deem that you never talk about the savings you currently have. If asked, you should politely decline to answer. Talking about the amount you currently make at a job is up to you. Sometimes it comes along with describing the nature of your job.
Success
Most of the time, especially when it comes to close friends, people would be happy with others success. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon that there is some deep seeded jealousy. Not everyone will be happy with your successes in life. If the person you are talking to believes you don't deserve it or is not happy in their own life.
This isn't to say that these people are bad for feeling this way. Its possible that they have worked hard and not yet seen the rewards for this hard work.
What is expected these days when talking about your success is when you obtain a new job or receive a raise. Its almost impossible to not talk about a current job or when it changes.
Final Words
Don't read this list and think that you should never ever talk about these topics with anyone because you can still have intelligent and calm discussions even with sensitive topics. In fact, some of the most intelligent and deep conversations you can have are about sensitive topics. Everyone has to bare in mind to be respectful about other peoples points of view and make sure voices don't get raised. That being said it is still best to avoid these topics if you are not sure others will want to engage with you.
No comments:
Post a Comment