How and Why You Properly "Own It"

Yes, Even the Bad Stuff

Have you ever seen someone do something slightly embarrassing or questionable and then try to deny it even if someone saw them do it. If the person doesn't want to get embarrassed then it is even worse to deny it.








It seems counter-intuitive but the opposite is true. Instead of trying to hide it or play it off, admit to it. Doing so will be less embarrassing. This is called "owning it".

You may have heard someone in passing say "Wow, he really owned it." or "You have to own it." but what does that really mean?  Furthermore, why is this a good thing?  This might take some practice or you may pick it up quickly.  For many people it takes experience but experience takes time and if you want to learn it now then continue reading.  Hopefully, it wont take years of experience to learn.

More times than I can remember I've seen people lie or do something offensive or objectionable.  Its clear that this person did it but they refuse to admit to it.  Everyone knows this person did it and the person knows that everyone knows.  Its over at this point but the person still refuses.  If you are faced with this situation you are better off admitting to it, give an explanation and ask for forgiveness.  Continuing deny will just show you as a liar and ultimately untrustworthy.  Being seen as untrustworthy is especially among friends is something that can really hurt you in the long run.

Definition

Owning it doesn't appear in the dictionary since its a phase and not just a word so what is a good, succinct definition. Here's what we can boil it down too:

"Taking pride, responsibility or ownership for what you have or have done, regardless of shame, embarrassment or level of finance."

This can extend to many different situations. If you support a professional baseball team that is currently losing badly then you shouldn't deny that you support the team. Instead admit to it and hope that they will get better in the future. If you cant afford the best clothes and buy an inferior brand, there is no reason the be ashamed. Be thankful that you can afford clothes and take solace in the fact that you have the best you can afford. There are so many people out there that wont even buy something if its on sale and would rather pay full price just so they don't have to say that it was on sale.

Examples

Many people have negative traits and work hard to hide them or downplay them. This may seem the obvious thing to do but it really isn't. For instance if you were going for a job and they ask you for a weakness then you need to give them a weakness. Everyone has weaknesses and to deny that fact to a potential employer will rarely get you a callback. They will know you are lying. State a weakness and own up to it.

What if you are at a bar and are talking to a woman you are interested in and you happen to be drunk. Don't try to act like you aren't drunk, don't try and deny it. When you are drunk everyone will know you are, there is no hiding it. Instead own up to it. Just come right out and say that you are drunk and may not remember everything that is said or apologies because you may not be on your best behavior.

When you do something embarrassing its possible that no one may be around to see what you did. Many times someone is. In those instances it is pointless to deny or cover-up what you did because someone has already seen it. Many times people will see this as being counter-intuitive which means, what you initially think makes sense, the opposite is actually true.

So many times I have seen people do something strange or maybe embarrassing and then try to play it off like it was nothing.  Best thing to do is just to actually draw attention to it or make a self-deprecating joke about it.  If you beat everyone to the joke no one can make fun of you for it.  If they do then they look like the jerk.

Summary

Here is what to remember:

-Don't try to hide the embarrassing moment, someone has more likely seen it already
-Accept your flaws and don't be afraid to point them out
-Don't allow pride to override every other feeling
-If you do something embarrassing or stupid be the first to make a joke about it
-If everyone already knows, its best to own up instead of being seen as untrustworthy

Whatever it is that you did, you actually did it so own up to it.

Final Words

Being able to properly employ this in your life may take developing and utilizing other inter-personal skills such as humor and small talk.  Learning those skills is something you should be doing too.  Being able to "own" things you have done requires you to expose yourself or "put yourself out there" and many people may not be comfortable with that.  If you are shy then it will be more difficult to do this.  The opposite however may also be true.  If you are shy and you are able to do all this then it may bring you out of your bubble and open you up more.  Being aloof is ok but being shy never helped anyone.