How to Tell If Someone is Lying to You

Its Not as Easy as On TV

Picking out the signs of someone lying is not like the TV show Lie to Me, where the main character picks out one small facial tic and determines just by that the person is lying.  While having a conversation with someone there may be hundred of movements and tics displayed but it doesn't mean picking out just one proves anything.  Its more complicated than that, where as you have to look for many different signs but keep in mind its not foolproof since some people act strangely out of habit.  So, here is what you need to know to start as a good baseline.







Body Language

Psychologist list many different cues when it comes to body language.  This alone probably isn't enough for you to make a determination since some actually contradict others.  An example of one contradiction is: looking away when a question is asked and also holding eye contact without blinking.  It is said one someone looks away they are trying to think of a lie, conversely when holding eye contact is a way to convince you that they are not lying.  People can look away if they are ashamed or embarrassed as well.  Looking to the side usually mean they are thinking of an answer.  Looking down usually means they are ashamed or embarrassed.

Two other signs that are often noted but are contradictory are: shuffling of feet, wringing of hands and overall nervousness.  The other is when someone stays perfectly still like a statue.  More often than not when someone stays perfectly still its because you have asked the right question or you have said the right thing.  Its a mix of surprise and the feeling that the person is caught but doesn't want to give anything away.  The next thing out of there mouth may be the lie.  If after being still they exhale deeply, look deflated and look directly down they may at that point tell you the truth.  Shuffling of feet could be a sign of nervousness as well.

Two last signs of a potential lie is when someone is asked a question and they answer it while touching or scratching their head or neck.  Psychologist suggest this is a primitive response to covering vulnerable parts of their body.  Also coving their mouth while talking is a big tip off of the statement being a lie.

One more common clue which is a dead give-away is when a person smirks after answering a question that requires a little explanation.  Unconsciously they feel like they are getting away with something.

Speech

A persons speech and give you many clues to determine a lie.  For most people this is very hard to control so watch for the signs.  The two huge signs of a lie when it comes to speech is, first repeating the question.  When talking directly to a person who has your undivided attention and you ask a simple question such as, "Where were you?" and their immediate response is, "Where was I?" or "Me?" or "What?", its almost a guarantee the next thing out of their mouth is a lie.  Another common one is when someone gives you too much information when responding to a question.  Even when asked a simple question they give you information that is totally unnecessary.  The opposite is also true, when someone gives short vague answers to questions.  In both cases they are trying to hide or mislead you.

One other speech cue that is very hard for people to hide is pausing.  If you are asking very simple questions that the person has no reason to lie about then their responses should come out just as easy.  This is until you ask a simple question and there is a pause, like maybe they were going to say something and then stopped themselves.  Usually, its followed by a "uh..um.."then the answer.

Putting it all Together

Picking out just one of these thing may or may not be enough to prove someone is lying to you but if you can catch several in a conversation or several in combination then you might have them.  Again, let use the example of "Where were you?" *Pause, looking straight at you* "Me?....I...um..was gardening *scratching nose*" Don't just focus on one clue but all of them, then draw back for a few seconds and determine if this is the normal way this person should be talking or is it abnormal.  If its abnormal behaviour then use your gut instinct since you may know the person already and decide if the person is most likely lying to you or not.

Final Words

Nobody like being lied too and some people just don't care but properly determining if something is a lie or not could make or break a friendship, relationship, business deal or job.  Sometimes its extremely important to know so you can base your next action around it.  People will lie for all kinds of reason these days and its better to know than not to know.  So, its best to educate yourself.